In a conversation with Roohvaani, Capt. Dr. Sunaina shared some secrets from her life.
There are moments that quietly divide life into a before and an after. For Capt. Sunaina, that moment came when two stars touched her shoulders.
“The Army slowly teaches you to live beyond yourself. Before those stars touched my shoulders, I was simply Sunaina — with my own dreams, fears, and priorities. But the moment I wore those two stars, something shifted quietly within me. I was no longer just living for myself… Capt. Sunaina began living for her country.”
She describes it not as a change in height — but in purpose.
“It feels like you suddenly stand taller — not in height, but in purpose. The uniform wraps you in pride, but along with it comes a silent weight of responsibility and honour. You realise that your actions are no longer yours alone… they represent something far greater.”
What the uniform gave her was not loud bravado — but a quiet fire.
“There is a fire that begins to burn within you — not loud, not showy, but deeply powerful. A confidence that tells you that you must stand strong, not because you are fearless, but because your nation trusts you to be. The uniform doesn’t just change your identity… it quietly transforms your heart, your thinking, and the way you see your place in this world.”
When Strength Meant Stepping Away
But strength, for her, did not always mean staying.
“Of all the roles I have lived, becoming a mother was the most emotionally life-changing. Almost overnight, my motherly instincts became stronger than the career-oriented girl in me.”
No one forced her decision. It was her own.
“I knew the Army is a 24×7 responsibility, and I never wanted to compromise either as a Fauji or as a mother. So in 2011, I chose to step back from the uniform to be emotionally present during my child’s growing years.”
It was a conscious sacrifice — one made without regret.
“I feel deeply grateful that life gave me the chance to be that constant support for my child. But there is one truth I carry in my heart — you may leave the Army, but the Army never leaves you.”
The Fauji, she says, is still alive in her discipline, her values, and the way she lives every day.
The Hardest Battle: Letting Go of Identity
If joining the Army reshaped her identity, leaving it tested it.
“Leaving the Army was not just a career change… it was an emotional shift. The hardest part was letting go of my identity. Almost suddenly, Capt. Sunaina became Mrs. ________. It was not easy to disconnect from a name, a uniform, and a life that had shaped every part of me.”
It was not the rank. Not the routine.
It was who she had become.
Beginning Again — From Scratch
There was a phase when she had to rebuild quietly.
“Yes, there was a phase in my life when I truly had to find strength within myself. It was the time when I was rediscovering who I was beyond the uniform. I had to begin again from scratch — going back to being a student, completing my MBA, then pursuing my PhD, and slowly stepping into teaching at Delhi University.”
Along the way, she rebuilt her purpose.
“During that journey, I also rebuilt my purpose through Mission Joining Indian Army, guiding young aspirants towards the uniform I once wore with pride. That phase was not easy, but it shaped me deeply.”
And then, life came full circle.
“Today, when people recognise me through my work as Capt. Dr. Sunaina, it feels fulfilling at a very emotional level. It reminds me that sometimes in life, you don’t lose your identity… you simply rediscover it in a new and stronger form.”
Discipline — The Unexpected Softness
Discipline is often mistaken for rigidity. In her life, it became something gentler.
“People often think discipline makes you strict. For me, discipline actually made me more gentle. The Army taught me control — but motherhood and teaching taught me where to soften that control.”
Discipline, she says, taught her patience.
“To pause before reacting, to listen more, and to understand emotions — my own and others’.”
As a mother, it helped her remain steady on emotionally exhausting days. As a mentor, it reminded her that “every child and every student is fighting a silent battle.”
“I realised discipline is not about being hard on people. It is about being strong enough to stay calm, kind, and consistent even when life becomes overwhelming. Somewhere between being a Fauji and being a mother, discipline quietly taught me how to lead with both strength and heart.”
The Unspoken Truth About the Uniform
Today, she inspires thousands to join the Army. But she speaks openly about what aspirants must emotionally prepare for.
“The Army is full of pride and honour, but one truth people don’t talk about much is the emotional loneliness that sometimes comes with it.”
There will be birthdays missed. Festivals unattended. Moments you cannot reclaim.
“And in those moments, you don’t get the luxury to choose… you just learn to stand strong and keep going.”
Many prepare their bodies and minds. Few prepare their hearts.
“Because this life asks you to put the country before your comfort, sometimes even before your emotions. It is not an easy journey… but it is one of the most meaningful lives you can live. Once you accept that sacrifice is part of the uniform, you start understanding its true honour.”
The Girl Behind the Rank
Beyond the titles, she says, there is still “the desi Sunaina.”
“I still carry my Haryanvi accent with pride, and it always feels like home to me. No matter how many roles I play in life, there is a part of me that feels happiest sitting in my village, speaking my own dialect, and living those simple, grounded moments.”
She is deeply emotional — someone who can cry watching emotional ads. That emotional side, she believes, keeps her human.
“That part of me keeps me humble and reminds me where my story truly began. Somewhere behind the officer, teacher, and mentor… that emotional village girl is still very much alive in me.”
The One Lesson
If there is one message she hopes people take from her story, it is this:
“Life is rarely perfect… and opportunities don’t always come at the right time. You cannot have everything together in life. Sometimes you choose your career, sometimes your family, sometimes your own growth… and that is completely okay.”
Stop waiting for perfect situations.
“Life doesn’t become beautiful because everything goes your way… it becomes beautiful when you learn to grow with whatever comes your way.”
In the end, her story is not about wearing the uniform — or leaving it.
It is about evolving through every phase with purpose, sacrifice and heart.
You May Leave the Army… But the Army Never Leaves You.
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